A look inside: Wish We Could Celebrate

Friday, July 20, 2007

Wish We Could Celebrate

Today is my brother's birthday

He would be 34 today

My heart hurts

My mind questions

Where would he be?

What would he be doing?

I would give him a gift and a hug

I would tell him I love him

He would make a witty remark to end the sappy moment

Wish he was here

Wish we could be together today

Wish we could celebrate

OK....so I can't end on such a sad note. Here is a picture sure to bring some laughs. Umm...could my hair be any bigger? This picture was taken on the day of Jeremy's high school graduation in 1991, I was 14...that explains a lot!

I love this picture. My two older brothers and I, all decked out in our matching PJ's. We were three peas in a pod, and we stuck together. Thanks to these two boys I learned everything I needed to know about playing tackle football, catching snakes, how to give a good Indian burn, playing GI Joe action figures, shooting BB guns, and yes, even experiencing the pain of being hit by one. You know, I gave birth to three children, naturally...no drugs. I truly believe that if I didn't have two older brothers that would never have happened. Why? High pain tolerance!!! From the time I was a toddler, my brothers bestowed on me the gift of high pain tolerance. I had to be tough to hang with the boys! I'll never forget watching Jeremy practice his swing with his baseball bat, and all of the sudden, wham! He accidentally hit me right across the forehead. I guess I was standing too close. This is just one of many examples. Life with Jeremy was never dull. He was always making us laugh, even as adults. It's funny, looking back through all of our old pictures, Jeremy always had a smile on his face. And although I miss him every day, I am thankful God gave me such an incredible older brother. I am so thankful for the time that we had together. I only wish I would have known there wasn't going to be very much.

But you, O God, do see trouble and grief

~Psalms 10:14

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

~Psalms 147:3

2 comments:

Anonymous said...: Oh liz I love those pictures and I will be praying for you.
The picture in my head of you getting nailed in the forehead with a baseball bat made me laugh out loud as I had tears streaming down my face.
I love you my dear friend!; July 21, 2007 at 5:38 PM
Rachel said...: This was the whole reason I started reading your blog from the beginning. Today after listening to the "sad" music, I tried to figure out what song it was...you have so many. So I started reading about your music and why you have all the songs on your blog. My heart hurt for you with the story about being 19 and pregnant and so upset. But when I read about your brother, I felt like it was mine, and it brought tears to my eyes. I just don't know what words to say. You are a wonderful person and I can see what a great family you grew up with. I'm so sorry that you lost your brother so young. I hope that because you've been willing to share, I can appreciate my family more.; October 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM

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Words to Remember

"Christ's followers cannot expect better treatment in the world than their Master had. Let them not promise themselves more honor or pleasure in the world than Christ had. Let each live a life of labor and self-denial as his Master, and make himself a servant of all; let him stoop, and let him toil, and do all the good he can, and then he will be a complete disciple."
~Matthew Henry,
English Pastor 1662-1714

"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all. But whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."
~Martin Luther King

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."
~Jim Elliot

"I am a missionary, heart and soul. God Himself had an only Son, and He was a missionary and a physician. A poor, poor imitation I am, or wish to be, but in this service I hope to live. In it I wish to die. I still prefer poverty and missions service to riches and ease. This is my choice."
~David Livingstone

"I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others do the same. "
~C.S. Lewis

"I want Thy plan, O God, for my life. May I be happy and contented whether in the homeland or on the foreign field; whether married or alone, in happiness or sorrow, health or sickness, prosperity or adversity - I want Thy plan, O God, for my life."
~Oswald J. Smith

songs with meaning

If you hear one of these songs playing while visiting my blog, here is why it is so special to me:

I Will Be Here by Steven Curtis Chapman: I would listen to this song as a young teenager and dream about finding a love like this song describes. Guess what? God gave more then I ever dreamed.

Any Song by Keith Green!!! I first heard Keith Green as a young child and knew all his songs by heart. As a teenager, I loved his music because he is so honest and authentic. I also read his autobiography when I was in my teens. He is one of my all-time heroes! I remember my friends laughing at me when they were in my car, wondering why I would be listening to songs from the 70's. Yes, the music is cheesy, but the lyrics are simply amazing!

How Could I Ask For More by Cindy Morgan: My senior year of high school I was on homecoming court with four other girls, who were all good friends of mine. We all picked this song to be played during our ceremony. I still love this song!

Have I Told You Lately by Rod Stewart: The song Jon and I danced to at our wedding. I smile every time I hear it.

I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me: This song was played at Brian Ditchen's memorial service. Brian was Jon's cousin who he grew up with, and who I went to school with, and he was a dear friend. He passed away in March of 2004 in a tragic plane accident, he was only 28. It shook the core of our faith. The only comfort came from knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, who Brian lived his life for: Jesus Christ. He was a dedicated believer, and we can't wait to see him again. Every time we would hear this song, it touched us deeply, it still does. Heaven has become very real to us.

The Scientist by Coldplay: My younger brother, Ben, sang and played this song on the piano at my brother Jeremy's memorial service. Jeremy passed away suddenly in September of 2004, he was only 31. Once again our faith was shaken (see next song)....

Cry Out To Jesus by Third Day: Whenever I hear this song I am reminded of my brother Jeremy...."To everyone who's lost someone they loved, long before it was their time, you feel like the days you had were not enough, when you said goodbye....cry out to Jesus" I am reminded to turn to God in the midst of my pain and loss, and it's OK to go to Him with my questions

We Will Dance by Steven Curtis Chapman: My current love song. It so beautifully describes mine and Jon's relationship.

I'm Not Cool by Scott Krippane: This is Daniel's song.Not in a mean way. He absolutely loves this song and sings along with it every time. The funny thing is, it describes him perfectly.

She's a Dancer by Phil Keaggy: This is Sarah's song! It so sweetly reminds me of Sarah...."she's a dancer, she loves to dance, she's a singer, she loves to sing, she's a lady, walkin' round in mama's shoes, standin' tall in mama's shoes" Sarah has also been caught singing into the bathroom mirror. And when she was younger she put on many "dance performances" for us in our living room.

Olivia by Phil Keaggy: Obviously Olivia's song! I've sang this song to her since she was a tiny newborn. She knows the words and sings along now. Whenever I put this song on, she stops what she's doing and gets a big smile on her face, and says "my song!"

Beautiful by Bethany Dillon: OK I'm 32 now. And sometimes when I look in the mirror, the depression creeps in. I don't look like I did ten years ago, I don't see a beautiful young woman looking back at me. And that can get you down sometimes. This song reminds me that true beauty is who I am in God's eyes. I could be perfect in every way on the outside and yet not be beautiful in the eyes of God, and when it's all said and done, my life would have been lived only for myself. I want to be beautiful in God's eyes, I want Him to look inside my heart and smile, and most importantly, be pleased.

Who Am I?, The Voice of Truth, and Praise You In The Storm by Casting Crowns: All three of these songs are very special to Jon. These are three of his all-time favorites. These songs brought him close to God when he was going through a hard time in his life.

I Am by Nicole Nordeman: The first time I heard this song was at a Women of Faith conference. She played it live on the piano. It was so beautiful and moved me so deeply. God is truly my "I Am", He has been my one firm anchor through every season of my life.